- friend: wanna hang out?
- me: lemme ask my mom
- me: *doesn't ask*
- me: she said no
do you ever talk to someone and feel really happy no matter how shit the conversation is
"that was supposed to be funny but my mom turned it into a life lesson and started yelling at me" - a memoir
Bill Nye The Science Guy, “Atoms” (1997).
what are snails even trying to do
oh man ok apparently this kid at our school saw a kitten before getting on the bus so he just. picked it up. and stuffed it in his hood and he had it in the hood the entire day and it just took naps and he fed it his milk during lunch and every time the cat meowed one of the other kids would like cough or sneeze or shuffle so the teacher couldnt hear it and he even let it walk around on the tables in one class and the teacher never saw it it was so precious life is amazing